If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
