speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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