Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
