How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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