Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize