He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
