people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
