I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
