The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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