Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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