those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
