and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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