Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
