Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
