That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
