Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize