He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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