Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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