I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
