Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
