we have pet lesbian snakes
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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