Those balls look pretty dangerous.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
smell my finger.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
