Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
