Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
