New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
