dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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