I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
