: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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