So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
this beer tastes like vomit already
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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