she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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