she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
