I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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