I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
