Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
what day is it and did you see me today?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize