Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
