He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
