I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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