I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
