i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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