I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
there is glitter all over my balls
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