weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
So squirting runs in the family.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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