he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
