found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
