I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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