I cannot find my penis.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
