It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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