ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
