When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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