Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
