you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize