her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
