I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
