clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
