I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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