K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
