and i looked up. we had an audience...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize