I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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