I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
