At least make sure they are 18
Why
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
