There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
