The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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