I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize