The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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