I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
