coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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