$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
All I want is dick and wine.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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