I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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