what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
