Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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