Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So vagazzling was a success
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
