The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize