he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
