so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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