just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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