He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
he fucked my hip out of place.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
