Pappa wants mamma naked
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
