I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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