All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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