you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just had sex on a roof
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You ever have a fart follow you around?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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