i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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