alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
