I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
