the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
