This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
