It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
