When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
