got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
