a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
