didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
